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Showing posts from May, 2025

One nice thing that happened today but otherwise I feel like crap

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 Feeling a lot of bullshit today. What will we possibly do to bring the Zionist genocide to an end? Everything seems hopeless. I'm also really stressed about money. I'm once again feeling that I'll never be able to make ends meet under capitalism. I'm a pretty hard working person, but there is only so long I can spend staring at a screen and typing. Sad to see Zohran say some bullshit about Israel having a right to exist. Jesus christ that's a punch in the gut. One thing that was cool today was attending the Rideshare Drivers United Protest, and seeing the Uber and Lyft drivers speak up powerfully for their rights as workers. I was impressed to see their determination. And also to know that I'm not alone in my fight for fair and sustainable wages. I'm so stressed that I'm going to run out of money and not be able to pay rent. Some people try to tell me that's irrational and that I will be fine but my feelings are my feelings and I have a right to fee...

Feeling blessed today / pessimism proved wrong

Today I rode my bike from my apartment in the Inner Sunset, down to city hall, where I spent the afternoon in Jackie Fielder's office. I will never again have to ride my bike west and uphill into the fog of the sunset, which was always a miserable ride. I'm really grateful for the new apartment Eva and I found in the mission and it honestly feels like a dream come true. I'm so happy that I'll never have to make the horrible, 2.5 mile westward bike ride again, except for a good reason. In the meantime, I'm hoping maybe more dreams can come true. I feel like I have a pretty depressive/agnostic attitude towards the world. So many bad things can happen, and who knows when they will happen to you. Things can always get worse, and so much worse. At the same time, this apartment feels like such a blessing. And a lot of other things in my life feel like blessings, too. So even though I can be so pessimistic about certain things in my personal life. The thing I am most pessi...

Where has my guiding vision gone?

  I’m just thinking about how since graduating college I’ve had no fucking idea what to do with myself.  Like when I was in elementary school I really enjoyed recess. And in high school I liked school itself. At Yale, I mainly enjoyed fixing bikes at the bike co-op. And then I was really looking forward to getting away from school, and I really enjoyed my time off – fixing bikes, working at a bakery, working at Wolf Creek. But since graduating college and looking for more stable employment I’ve just been at a total fucking loss. Between New York City single and San Francisco with Eva, San Francisco seemed like the obvious choice. What the fuck I’d do for work was beyond me and continues to be beyond me.  I just have no fucking vision of what to do with myself. Try to do some Weather Underground shit in solidarity with Palestine. Honestly sort of tempting except even just doing minor graffiti in my neighborhood scares the shit out of me, and I don’t want to spend the rest ...

Who I am and where I'm from

I was born in Misgav Ladach hospital in Jerusalem. I lived the first four years of my life in the town of Rechovot. When people ask me where I’m from, I say Rockville or Potomac Maryland, which is where I lived from when I was four until I finished high school.  On some level, maybe it would make more sense to say that I’m from Rechovot. But I’m ashamed to be from Israel, or what would more accurately be referred to as occupied Palestine. The town of Rechovot is next to what was once the Palestinian town of Zarnuqa. I don’t want people to think I’m a Zionist when I introduce myself, and unless I know somebody pretty well I don’t want them to know that I’m from Israel.  I wonder if that’s some kind of cowardice, to lie about where I’m from. Maybe I should be more authentic. Something else I feel a great sense of shame regarding is that I have a trust fund. That’s something that I also don’t want people to know about me, unless I trust them a ton and really deeply trust that the...