Moshe comes to me with a dream

I went to Big Sur this weekend with Eva. When I was there, my friend Moshe came by and related the following dream which he had:

"I stand in the creek with the water up to my knees. I make a bow and arrow motion with my arms -- I hold my left arm out front to hold the bow, pull my right arm back and let it go, releasing the imaginary arrow into the bushes on the other side of the creek.

"My depression would be gone in an instant if I could join a military force capable of taking down the IDF," Moshe told me. We both laugh. It's a joke, but only kind of. We both know he's pretty capable physically, but when it comes to most things, the truth is he usually doesn't give a fuck. Who cares about running a 5K when his tax dollars are funding a genocide? He reserves his strength for the things he gives a shit about, but if someone random asks him, he'll just say he has depression and spare them the whole story.

**

I try to to explain to my Dad: my depression is the flip side of your apathy. All the unpleasant things you choose to ignore -- you go folk dancing in Tel Aviv while your government butchers men, women and children by the tens of thousands -- I witness it all and become crippled by depression, grief and anxiety. 

You ask me how my week was, and how I'm feeling, but I'm not in the mood to go into it. 

"Fine," I say. "I enjoyed my boxing class." I cash the check he sends me so I can pay for therapy. Are we square?

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