Reflections on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur

Last year, I participated in actions with IfNotNow to protest the US and Israel backed genocide in Gaza. I did this despite my initial reservations about working with INN. One year later, I have realized that my differences with the organization are too great, and I told group members that I would no longer be organizing with them in the upcoming year. I have found that I get along much better with individuals in DSA, especially the far left factions within DSA, and I plan on prioritizing work within the left-wing of DSA in the upcoming year.

Last year, I was working at a law office that was not a very good fit for me. When I started working at the office, I had a lot of doubts about it. I was especially worried about sitting in an office forty hours a week. I did not see how I could be happy or healthy in that kind of work environment. After working there for about a month, I saw those worries come to fruition, and I quit my role as a paralegal. I am currently working part-time on a political campaign. Even though there are elements of my new job that are not necessarily my favorite, I still feel like I am in a much better place work-wise compared to one year ago. I am a canvasser on the campaign, and I feel lucky to have a job where I get to be outdoors and on my feet during the work-day. While I work, I am able to get exercise, work up a sweat, and talk to voters about my interests in social-justice. I wish that voters were more friendly when I speak to them at the doors, and it is very upsetting to me when voters are rude to me, or when they roll their eyes at me, or when they slam the door on me. The policies that my candidate, Jackie Fielder, is running on, mean a lot to me, and I get upset (maybe too much so) when people are dismissive of me or the campaign. At the same time, I feel lucky to have this opportunity, and I hope that the universe continues to give me opportunities to work with my body in service of social justice, fighting capitalism, and building alternatives to it. I am praying for more of this in the upcoming year.

In general, I feel like there have been many times this year that I thought there was no path forward for me, and I feel like the universe has opened doors for me when all I could see was darkness. I didn't think I'd ever find a job better than the paralegal job, but everything in my body told me to seek out something else, and the universe rewarded me. I didn't think I'd ever meet as many communists, socialists and anarchists as I have met this past year in San Francisco. I sort of assumed that Pinochet, Hitler and Kissinger had killed them all. But, lo and behold, there are tons of us out here in the Bay Area, and it has felt like a miracle from the universe to be in these anti-capitalist communities. 

I also thought I'd never find a therapist better than my therapist in New Haven. I appreciated working with her, but there were parts of myself and parts of the universe / parts of existence that I struggled to understand together with her. Through participation in protests for Palestine, I was introduced to a therapist in San Francisco who has helped me make a lot more progress on my own mental health. He has previously worked with the Party for Socialism and Liberation, and participates in activism for Palestine, so he understands me very deeply when I talk about the ways that capitalism and colonialism cause me grief, heartache and anxiety.

I am grateful to the Universe for the generosity It has shown me this year, at times when I did not think any subsequent grace would be coming. I am praying for a year of blessings, and to be inscribed in the book of life. I am praying to Hashem to continue showing me blessings and praying to Hashem to continue showing me the way in times of uncertainty.

P.S. I think I have also become (G-d willing) a much better boyfriend in the past year. Participating in DSA has really helped me channel a lot of the rage and pain I was feeling towards capitalism in a more productive direction, which has allowed me to show up in a much more productive way as a boyfriend.

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